What To Do If You Are Bullied

Being bullied is like going through that intersection you always go through on the way to work only this time youre almost t-boned by another driver who has ran a red light. You survive, but you never look at that intersection quite the same way again. Someone for that moment took control over you, imposed their will, stolen a little security, for that moment, maybe longer. For all that has been written about who and why bullies are, it bears emphasis to state simply: bullying is about POWER. Social scientists have done fascinating research on the makings of a bully. But for the kid who dreads the school bus or the gym class, the child who feels self loathing because someone else has enough power to make him relinquish control, it's about POWER. Power may be defined as the ability to act or produce an effect. One young child was tormented by 2 bullies at school. He tried to resolve the internal and external conflict on his own, even though he had wonderful parents at home. When the parents were able to get him to talk about the bullies, he referred to them as his bullies This was telling, as it seemed to indicate that he was either claiming ownership of the problem, he was responsible for their being bullies, or he was resigning himself to this relationship as now being a part of his life that he was powerless to change. Voices in a kid's head can convince him of things that makes the bully's job easier.

Empower with countermeasures: 1) Keep cool, don't give in to rage. If you lose your temper, the bully has shifted the balance of power. 2) Before a situation develops, take your leave when possible. This is not cowardly, it is shrewd. 3) Speak up for yourself. Calmly look him in the eye, don't insult or challenge. 4) Talk to a responsible adult. 5) Remember you have value as a person. The bully may not think that you matter, but you do. Remember that intersection at the beginning? Mostly we get through these crossroads quickly. We move on and we have productive lives, if we don't keep taking ourselves back there.

Keith Barnhart - Estimator